Choose Life
Deuteronomy 30:1-15, Matthew 5:21-26, 1 Corinthians 3:1-9
Are some of you familiar with the ‘Frog and Toad’ children's books, written and illustrated by Arnold Lobel? One of these stories is called ‘The Garden.
In it Toad, is admiring Frog’s garden. “Yes it is very nice,” says Frog, “but it was very hard work”, and he gives Toad some flower seeds and tells him if he plants them, soon he will have a garden.
“How soon?” asked Toad.
“Quite soon.” Said Frog
Toad rushes home, plants the seeds, and tells them to grow. He walks up and down. They don’t start growing. He crouches down close to the ground and shouts, “Seeds, start growing!” After trying this again even louder Frog comes running.
“You are shouting too much,” says Frog. “These poor seeds are afraid to grow.”
“My seeds are afraid to grow?” asked Toad.
“Of course,” said Frog. “Leave them alone for a few days. Let the sun shine of them, let the rain fall on them. Soon your seeds will start to grow.”
That night Toad looks out the window, sees the seeds have not started to grow and decides that they’re afraid of the dark. So he goes out with candles and reads them a story. The next day – in the rain – he sings to them. The next day he reads poems. The next day he plays music. The fourth day he falls asleep.
Frog wakes him up, “Toad, Toad, Look at your garden!” Green plants are coming up!
“At last,” says Toad, “My seeds have stopped being afraid to grow! But you were right, Frog. It was very hard work.”
This morning we heard three readings; firstly from the books of the law in the Old Testament where Moses sets out for the people of Israel their covenant with God. If they love and obey God, they will find life and prosperity. However, if the covenant is broken, and they don’t, they won’t. It’s a simple choice, says Moses, life or death, blessings or curses.
Our second and third readings spoke of how conflict inhibits the life and growth of God’s people, as individuals and as a whole.
Can I suggest, however, that another factor can inhibit our life and growth – as suggested in Lobel’s poignant and humorous short story – that is, we are afraid to grow.
As individuals and organisations we become so committed to avoiding conflict, to remaining within our comfort zone, that our growth becomes stunted, halted, perhaps stops altogether.
David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage, talks about growth and stability spirals for individuals, marriages, families and groups. Our relationships travel along that spiral, but boredom and unresolved issues bring us to a point of risk. If we are prepared to engage that risk, to face anxiety and confrontation, the result is growth. If however, we continue to avoid risks, though our anxiety might be reduced, the final result is death to that relationship. “Don’t waste a fight” is one of my favorite statements when doing pre-marriage counseling, “we fight, not to win, but to grow!”
Robert E. Quinn, in his book, Deep Change, makes the observation that people and organisations have only two options; slow death or deep change.
As Moses said, “Life and prosperity/health or death and destruction”.
So, is there a disconnect between our need to engage with confrontation in order to grow and what Jesus says about the evils of anger or what Paul writes about the immaturity of a church in which jealousy, quarrelling and division is found?
I don’t think so. I think we would all agree that we are a long way from the wholeness and maturity that God calls us to. Like me, many of you will relate to the person who prayed:
Dear Lord, so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over indulgent. I’m very thankful for that.
But, in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.
But we will not find the help we get, if we avoid conflict forever. So, is there assistance in these passages that we read for our own growth, for our relationships and for our life as a community of faith? Yes, I think there is.
- ‘I’ statements is counselling jargon for such expressions…
In Matthew 5:21 and 22, Jesus alerts us to the power of our emotions and our words…. “You have heard that it was said in ancient times, “whoever murders shall be liable to the court of judgement, but I say to you, if you are angry with a brother of sister, you are liable to the judgement court, if you show contempt to someone you are liable to the supreme court, and if you destroy someone’s reputation you are liable to the place of destruction…” As followers of Jesus, we need to own our emotions, and to allow the Spirit of God to bring about deep change, change that has an outward effect and an inward effect.
Jesus speaks of us needing to leave our gift at the altar, to go and be reconciled with our brother or sister. Here is a reminder that deep change has a vertical and a horizontal dimension; we cannot be right with God unless we are right with our brothers and sisters. And here is a reminder that confrontation, making ourselves vulnerable and forgiveness must become part of the normal cycle, the normal ritual, of our lives.
There is also very practical suggestion that is better to settle disputes earlier than later!
Paul is faced by a group of believers who have divided into camps based on the different leaders who have discipled them. Using his metaphor of the seed in the field he tries to show them that this makes as much sense as attributing the growth of Toad’s seed to one of his unusual cultivation methods!
Perhaps they were able to hear Paul’s argument; to understand each other’s position, and to acknowledge that ultimately God was responsible for the growth, that they were God’s field.
I must confess that my gardening skills are on a par with Toad’s….
There is a sense that what we are about, as individuals and as the church, is to be – not constant gardeners - constant seeds. The choice does not as starkly as Deuteronomy puts it, ‘choose life’! But we must choose every day to “love the Lord your God, to walk..., to obey...”; to confront what is in ourselves or in our relationships or in our churches that must change to allow life to thrive.
It is as Toad discovers, “A lot of work!”
But in all this work someone else is at work. We have a constant gardener – God.
Let us ask God, to breathe anew into us, the breath of life into us. We sing #293.