Naw Hsar K' Nyaw Htoo (Nyaw Nyaw)

I am one of the 30,000 refugees living in Mae La Camp, along the Thai border. I've been here since 1990. 
So far, I have never gone out to other parts of the world except Mae Sot and other few camps.

As a refugee girl, I am burned with fear when I hear the news that the situation is not good in the camp. I am getting tired of listening to a noisy announcement and annoyed to have many restrictions and laws in this part of the world.

This summer, I hated hearing, "the situation is bad, tonight." It reminded me about the Democratic Karen Buddhist Army(DKBA) and the State Peace Development Council (SPDC) who attacked us on January 29, 1997. It was a nightmare and my heart pounds whenever I think of it!

During the rainy season, the camp is muddy and many people enjoy walking on the road which is the only flat place and comfortable way for us. But the Thai authority says, "No, you can't do that, walk in the camp."

In February this year, students were preparing for the final exam. At 6:30pm, we heard the announcement saying, "Please, switch off all the light, blow off your candles, don't go out from your house." My heart cries every time I recall it.

Last year, we had thanksgiving service in No.1 High School. We couldn't use the things we brought like microphone and electric guitar for this ceremony because Thai leaders had a meeting beside our school. With our voice it is difficult to speak to 700 students and not everyone heard what the participants were trying to say. While three girls were singing, a Thai soldier came to us and say, "Bao Bao Noy."(which means soften or reduce your voice) while the soldiers are laughing louder than the song. It seems to me that we had no right to fight back because we have to obey them, this is their land, we are just an illegal displaced people. I looked calm but my heart went another way, I wanted to tell them, "We don't want to live in Thailand, We will not live here forever."

And the news about my people in Myanmar, who are running without shelter and who are treated cruelly by the SPDC, makes me cry.

I am just a refugee girl who knows very little about the outside world and don't know what to do for my suffering people. There were times when, I don't want to study hard, I just want to pass the time without meaning and sleep, sleep and sleep whenever I thought about what we have experienced.

But every time our brothers and sisters around the world come to visit us, I feel warm and realize we are not alone. Their words of encouragement strengthen me to think more positively and do what I can while I am waiting for independence.

"I have a dream," shakes me to think what I am hoping for. I like it!

Then, deep down in my heart, I have a hope; a hope that keeps me alive. A hope to make me stand up.

So...I hope to see The Least Developing country as one of the most developed countries.
I hope that we will cross the river from Thai border without any fear.
I hope to see we build our houses beside the Salween River.
I hope to sing as loud as we can in Kaw Thoo Lei.
I hope to enjoy the moonlight and turn on the light throughout the night.
I hope to have a new President with new policy and Democracy.
I hope to become one of the greatest writer or author in my own land.

Now is my preparation time and I feel really excited while I am waiting for the bright future. In the eyes of men, the situation in Myanmar may seem hopeless. On contrary, I firmly hope for positive changes and hope it will take place soon. God can make it in His own time.  I HOPE!