Experience

The theme of this Newsletter reminded me of something I read in a Ginger Meggs comic several years ago: “Experience is the comb that life gives you when you are bald”.

Over the years it has taken me to become an octogenarian, I have learnt that everyone seems to have a need to “re-invent the wheel for themselves”. The important thing is how to achieve “passing it on” so that those who could benefit from what you have learnt, will want to learn, and thus avoid the pain and frustration that drives people to the brink of despair.

Having spent ten years as a Marriage Guidance Counsellor, eight years as Honorary Conciliation Officer with the ANU General Staff Association, and twelve years, before retiring, as a Social Health Visitor in the Mental Health Branch of the ACT Health Services, I have learnt a lot about people, relationships and emotional health issues. Looking around our church members, there are those who have gained experience in many different areas of life and have much to offer, the real problem being how to pass it on.

Many people suffer inner turmoil trying to cope with feelings related to unresolved issues in their past. In marriage and other personal relationships, something is said or done that triggers off these feelings and the current situation or person is blamed. This in turn creates hurt in that person, who reacts with intensity of feeling (often springing from their own unresolved issues), making mountains out of molehills.

 “Self-image” has the major role in all of life’s experiences. A good self-image enables you to face the future with inner confidence, able to cope with situations that may arise, giving yourself the respect and consideration you extend to others. A poor self-image exaggerates your weaknesses, belittles your strengths and potential, increases self-criticism and you expect others to be critical of you also. This in turn causes you to withdraw from people often in despair, and angry at the situation over which you feel you have little control.

“The need to belong” (to feel loved and accepted, to be part of … ) is the other factor that needs to be experienced to enable one to live a happy and useful life.

Beautiful relationships, peace and happiness, together with good health achieve their best possible fulfilment when we like being who we are and we feel we belong.

T.S.

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Minds are like parachutes, They only work if they are open…